lucy (a_sad_sad_soul) wrote in poetic_cuts,
lucy
a_sad_sad_soul
poetic_cuts

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two long poems, so they're under a cut...


To Painful to Remember By: Lucy (2/14/06, 8:09PM)
The dark shadows of her memories are haunting in her dreams.
She does not know what to do.
Her only escape is pain.
Her only escape is blood.
Torture is pleasure.
She is sick.
She is cruel.
Her tears stain her skin.
Blood stains her knife.
To them, she is happy.
To him, she is love.
To herself, she is disgust.
She loves him.
Forever and always, she loves him.
The one thing that will never let her down in life,
Is him.
Her mind is racing.
Not knowing if the blood will stop.
It spills from every vein.
Her mind is racing.
She feels faint.
But she still holds on,
For him.
He is her reason for living.
The thought of him, although it does not stop the blood, stops her from giving up.
He does not understand why she does this.
She does not understand why she cannot stop this.
She does understand why she cannot stop this.
It is the feeling of comfort.
It is the feeling of pain.
The feeling of control.
The tears pour out.
The blood pours out.
Why does she do this to herself?
Know one will ever know, but her.
It is to complicated to tell the story.
To painful.
The thought of it will crush her.
The thought of it will kill her.
She does not want to venture down that road again.
Her shadows will consume her.
It is to painful.
To difficult.
It is filled with: pain, blood, death, suicide, abuse, neglect, drugs, alcohol, lovers, divorce, hatred, lust, guilt, horror, hiding, suffering, secrecy.
No, it is to painful.
Her eyes well up with tears.
A line down her cheek becomes wet until there is a single drip of water on the desk in front of
her.
She feels that it is her fault.
She feels that she deserves the pain she has been put through and puts herself through.
The dark shadows of her memories are haunting in her dreams.
But she will not admit to her suffering.
It is too painful.

Daddy Did You… By: Lucy (2/28/06 8:58pm)
Did you expect me to cry when you cheated on my mother?
Did you expect me to yell when you kicked her out?
Did you expect me to rebel when you told me what to do?
Did you expect me to flinch when you raised your hand?
Did you expect me to drop out when I failed?
Did you expect me to run away when you said you hated me?
Did you expect me to gasp when I found out who you slept with while you were married to my mother?
Did you expect me to yawn when you lectured me on my behavior?
Did you expect me to run to you when I was scared?
Did you expect me to run from you when I was angry?
Did you expect me to move away from you?
Did you expect me to ignore you like you ignored me my whole life?
Did you expect me to never call?
Did you expect me stand up for myself in front of you?
Did you expect me to transfer schools away from you?
Did you expect me to cut when the pressure was to much to handle?
Did you expect the blood to drip down my arms?
Daddy do you expect me to cry for you when you leave this world forever?
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